This One Mistake Can KILL Your Entire Sales Pitch (Rant Included)!

I had recently written about writing a client a sales letter and the importance of choosing between a long-form or short-form sales letter. But there was another thing that happened should definitely be discussed…

After submitting corrections from the first draft, my client’s partner had written a comment that read along the lines of:

“I think the letter takes too long to get to the offer. So I put the offer close to the top because I personally get pretty impatient when reading a sales letter…”


The fluff do you mean you “get pretty impatient when reading sales letters?” SO!? TF!

It’s called a S-A-L-E-S P-I-T-C-H for a freaking reason!

When you go see a movie, do you request the theater to fast-forward through the entire movie so you can hurry up and see how it ends?

Of course not! Because that would be stupid AF!

If you’re watching a movie trailer, and the trailer tells you EVERYTHING that happens in the movie, would you still watch the movie?

Hell no! That idea as just as dumb as the first suggestion!

And I know for a FACT that this is a dumb idea because I’ve actually seen a trailer that gave away the whole movie in less than 3 minutes…I was so irritated –

You know what? Here’s the trailer I’m talking about. Tell me if you’d still see this movie:

Awful, right?

Now imagine if your SALES COPY did the same thing!

That’s basically what this client wanted!

In case you’re wondering who these clients are, I wrote about them in this blog: Which Is Better: Long-Form Or Short-Form Sales Letters?

The Trap Of Giving Away Too Much Too Soon

*phew* Okay…rant over.

Now, of course, I didn’t say all that stuff above to the client because I’m a professional. But all rant aside, giving away the offer too soon will always be a bad idea.

Sales copy gives you the opportunity to enter your readers and leads them down to the sale. While doing so, you give them valuable info that leads to epiphanies, self-reflection and realizations, and the relief from the discovery of a solid solution for their problems…

How can you do that if you just throw the product out in the open in the beginning? What’s the point of reading the rest of the letter?

You see, you NEED to pump the breaks when it comes to revealing your product. Save it toward the middle at least. Because you know what else is at the bottom?


If your reader already knows what your product is and make up their mind that they’re not interested, you just wasted all that time crafting the sales letter.

In The Same Vein…

If your reader is skipping from the beginning to the end to get to how much it costs, it’s probably because you’ve lost them too early in the letter. You haven’t informed or persuaded them at all. This is a BAD thing. You have to write engaging copy all the way through to the end.

The real reason you want your readers to read till the end (around where the offer SHOULD be), is because you want to disguise your offer!

Nobody likes to be sold to, right? Well, they’ll feel that way if they’re scanning through your sales copy. But if they’re reading through your copy, they’re forming their own thoughts and opinions, they’re learning about their problems and how your solution can solve them.

Learn how you can make your readers feel closer to you in the blog: How To Make Your Readers Feel Closer To You In Your Copy.

Don’t Make The Same Mistake

So my client and his partner ended up pretty much rearranging my sales copy at their own apparel. It may do well, it may not. But if you want to increase your chances of success, DON’T make the same mistake of giving away the offer too soon!

For more copywriting tips and strategies, check out the blog at